


This I Promise You

by Loor



Series: Alex and Dylan Universe [1]
Category: The Cab
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Past Relationship(s), Secrets, Warped Tour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 23:19:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3187001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loor/pseuds/Loor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dylan seems like your average twenty something happy-go-lucky girl. But when you look closer, you'll see that Dylan is anything but. Dylan has a secret.</p><p>Alexander DeLeon is intriged by Dylan from the first moment he lays eyes on her. But what will happen when he finds out her secret, every little detail he maybe wishes he hadn't known?</p><p>This I Promise You is a fanfiction. It's a story of boy meets girl. But most of all it's a story of trust and love and hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> When the visions around you bring tears to your eyes  
> And all that surround you are secrets and lies  
> I'll be your strength, I'll give you hop,  
> Keeping your faith when it's gone  
> The one you should call was standing here all along
> 
> N'Sync - This I Promise You

** Dylan. **

I stare out the window and watch the trees quickly pass. Even though it’s still fairly early, it’s already getting dark outside. I notice how the clouds are packing together. It seems we’ll be getting a storm soon.

I can’t help but think that the weather seems to sense my mood and adjusts itself. There had been blistering heat and sunshine every other time I made this drive, just like I had been happy, excited and ready for an amazing summer. This year I am still excited for summer, yet already slightly sad because I know this year will be my last. And then there’s the fact that the last two weeks haven’t exactly been the greatest of my life. All kinds of emotions are swirling through my head at this moment, thus a storm seems perfectly appropriate.

“Excuse me, miss. Where did you say you were going again?”

The cab driver’s voice is louder than when he spoke before. When I avert my gaze from the window I notice his eyes are looking at me from his rear-view mirror. I wonder how many times he already asked this question, but I don’t bother asking. Instead I just give him my destination again.

He is surprised, just like the others were the years before. His eyes are back on the road, but through the mirror I can see him frowning when he hesitantly asks, “You do know that’s as middle of nowhere as it gets, right?”

I can’t suppress a smile. Same conversation every year. “Not right now, sir,” I politely assure him. “The Warped Tour festival has taken over the place for today.”

“Oh, that’s today? My daughter mentioned it a few weeks back. So that’s why she was so excited last night.”

I wonder what kind of father doesn’t know when his daughter is attending an event like Warped. I don’t mention it though, instead asking, “Is it her first time at Warped?”

“Yes, it is. Her friend went last year and convinced her to tag along this year. My wife and I weren’t too happy about it. But hey, they’re teenagers, what are you going to do about it, right?” He casts a quick look at me before continuing, “What about you? You flew all the way out here to see some bands? From England, right?”

“From London, yes,” I say with a smile. Of course my accent wouldn’t go unnoticed. “And I’ll actually be joining the crew. It’s my fifth year now and I absolutely love the work. Warped is pretty great. I’m sure your daughter’s day had been amazing so far.”

“Well it must have. If your first trip to America has made you keep coming back, this festival must be something special!” the driver says while letting out a short laugh.

My answering chuckle is rather grim. “My first trip to America wasn’t for Warped tour,” I admit.

The driver’s eyes quickly wander over me again before going back to the road. He clearly has had enough passengers over the years to know what my tone of voice indicates. “I’m sure my daughter will be waiting to tell me all about it when I get home,” he says as if the last part of our conversation never took place.

The rest of the ride is spend in silence. I spend my time staring at my reflection in the window. I wonder how the girl staring back at me would have turned out if she hadn’t met him six summers ago, hadn’t come to the states with him. Chances are I wouldn’t even be sitting here. After all, it was thanks to him that I learned to take a chance, to act on my desires. Of course, that was all before he broke my heart. Twice. Although that second time was my own fault as much as his. If I hadn’t gone to their show that night, if I hadn’t…

I force myself to stop thinking about him right there. It’s no use crying over spilled milk. What’s done is done. Instead I try to focus on the weeks ahead, the fun I’m going to have. It isn’t lost on me, however, that the rain has chosen this exact moment to start coming down.

It isn’t much later when the driver breaks the silence, announcing, “We have reached our destination, miss.”

When I look out the window I can see the familiar sight of trucks, buses, vans and people running around. And for the first time tonight I can feel a genuine smile break through. I am home again.


	2. Chapter 2

** Alex. **

I am standing in the doorway of our bus when a cab arrives. I curiously watch the door open. A short girl with a big smile steps out into the pouring rain. She doesn’t bother with an umbrella, politely declining when the cab driver offers her one. I continue watching as she stands there getting soaked.

Her eyes dart across the scene, clearly in search of something. When her glance sweeps over me, it seems to stop for just a short moment. Before I can react, however, her eyes are already moving again. Almost as if I imagined it. Yet her smile is gone now, replaced by a tiny frown. I suddenly feel a little uncomfortable, wondering if the sight of me caused her changed expression.

I assume she is looking for someone in charge. My thought gets confirmed when she spots Kevin Lyman and makes her way over to him. She pulls him in for a hug as soon as he’s in her reach.

‘Someone seems to be close to Warped’s big boss,’ I think to myself. Then I realize that after five years she probably is. Not many people last that long on this tour.

If there still was any doubt in my mind that this girl was Dylan, the girl that lots of people were talking about and looking forward to seeing again, it is taken away by Jac Vanek. Dylan barely has time to step away from Kevin before she gets tackled in a hug by Jac. Not expecting the force she loses her balance and both of them end up on the ground.

Neither of them seems to be bothered by the mud coloring their clothes brown, or about the rain drenching them completely. They even splash at each other a bit, acting like kids instead of the twenty-something year olds they are supposed to be. They are laughing out loud and I can’t help but classify Dylan’s laugh as one of the most beautiful sounds I have ever come across.

Kevin watches them for a moment. Then he says, “We’ll talk about your work at the next stop. I have got to go now. Jac will show you your bunk.”

He seems completely calm, which surprises me. Kevin is usually stressing every waking moment. I wonder if it is Dylan’s presence that does this to him.

I get my answer when he turns around. “Dylan?” he yells. “It’s good to have you back!” he says when she pauses her conversation with Jac long enough to look up at him. Then he continues his walk, a smile plastered across his face.

When the girls finally make their way onto our bus I have long retreated to my bunk. I pause the movie playing on my laptop when I hear the door open. I lay still in dark listening to them still laughing. I listen to Jac introducing Dylan to everybody. Nice to meet yous and how are yous are thrown back and forth. The bus starts moving at the same moment, indicating that we are leaving for a new destination.

I jump a little in surprise, barely avoiding a collision between my head and the bunk above mine, when the curtain separating the bunks from the rest of the bus is pulled aside. Lights are turned on and I am suddenly face to face with two girls soaked to the bone, of which one announces happily, “And this is the asocial one aka Singer aka Alex Deleon.”

The tips of my ears burn as I push aside my laptop. I quickly scramble out of my bunk and offer Dylan a hand. “You must be Dylan. It’s nice to meet you,” I say.

Dylan accepts my handshake with a calculating smile. “Nice to meet you too, Alex number three,” she tells me before accepting the towel Jac offers her.

The rest of the evening passes quickly. As the bus moves underneath us we all hang out in the lounge. We talk, we have a few drinks. We laugh a lot.

I try to pay attention to the conversations going on around me. Yet I find myself staring at Dylan more often then I probably should. I just can’t help myself, it’s just who I am. Every time I meet someone, get to spend some time with an unknown person, I’ll try to read them. I want to know what people are like before they get a chance to lead me astray.

I can’t say that Dylan is like I expected her to be from what I heard. Sure, she is nice and friendly, just like people told me she would be. She seems intelligent and is definitely attractive. She looks happy to be here, smile easily mirrored in her eyes. And still something seems wrong. Whenever she thinks nobody is watching the sparkle disappears from her eyes. When she isn’t the center of attention she seems to be overtaken by darkness. She look troubled, uneasy and worried.

When I decide to call it a night and walk to the bunks I take one last look at Dylan. She looks like she is thinking about things far, far away. Her eyes are set dark again.

And it is in that very moment that I promise myself, that in my head I wordlessly promise her make her happy again. Starting tomorrow I will be searching for the happy-go-lucky Dylan that Jac always talks about.


	3. Chapter 3

** Dylan. **

I miss Warped when I’m in London. But somehow I never seem to realize how much I’ve truly missed the tour and the people until it’s summer again. And I always forget how easy it is to fall into that familiar rhythm again.

Two weeks have passed since I arrived and I have been blogging, taking pictures and interviewing bands like I never left. My free time is spend by goofing around and hanging around with Jac, mostly at her companies boot. Or, of course, watching bands play. Some of them I’ll only watch once, others I know from the first song I’ll be seeing again.

Two weeks in, and I have yet to miss a show by The Cab. Their music drew me in, but they are just overall amazing to watch. They are always entertaining and I don’t think I’ll ever get bored of those vocals. Plus they are total sweethearts.

It’s with Singer in particular that things have hit off really well. He seems determined to make sure I always have a great time. We have so much fun together, whether it’s playing a joke on one of our friends or just watching a movie and cuddling together. It feels like I’ve known him for years. We get closer every passing day and he might soon be reaching the point where Jac gets competition as being my best friend.

Things just always seem to be so easy around Alex. He can brighten my mood with a simple smile. Which is exactly why he is the first one I look for during this cloudy afternoon.

When I locate him on the steps of our currently empty bus I stop a few feet away. He is lost in his own world, singing an acoustic version of Vegas Skies. It feels as if music is radiating from him. I regret not bringing my camera to capture the beauty of this moment.

I eventually am able to snap out of my momentary daze and walk over to him. He looks up when I get close enough to hear my footsteps and sends me a smile. He scoots over to make a little room for me to sit. The steps are just big enough for both of us to sit next to each other.

Without realizing it I let out an involuntary sigh when Alex finishes the song. “That bad huh?” he asks, small smile playing around his lips.

“No, not at all! It’s beautiful!” I assure him. “It’s just… I was thinking about how I wish someone would write a song like that about me.”

“Oh come on! You’re pretty amazing. And you’re around musicians all the time. I’m sure there are some songs written about you!”

Cue sad smile. “There are a couple of songs out there about me,” I admit to my hands. “But nothing like that. They… They aren’t exactly happy love songs.”

“Is that why you are so gloom all the time?”

My head shoots up at Alex’s question. He is staring at me. He looks honestly concerned.

“What are you talking about?” I pretend to frown at him in confusion, but I have a feeling I know exactly what he means.

“I know you are happy to be here. And you seems to have fun most of the time. But there are those moments, when you think nobody is watching, that your mood darkens. Moments where you look like your rainbow sky suddenly gets clouded. And…” He shrugs. “Well, I just don’t like to see you that way. You deserve to be happy, Dylan.”

The blush creeping on his cheeks almost makes me smile. But I don’t. For a moment I don’t respond at all. For a moment I just wonder how, when, this boy has learned to read me so perfectly. And why I deserve someone who cares so much.

Then I shake my head. “This isn’t about those songs. Not really.”

Alex doesn’t say anything, but calmly waits to see if I will continue talking. I deliberate telling him everything. There’s only a few seconds of doubt. I don’t know Alex that long, but I trust him. He is one of the sweetest, most caring guys I have ever met. So why not tell him the one thing none of my other friends know about me?

Deep breath. In… And out… “About five years ago I met this boy. He was a year older than me, American, and played guitar, among other instruments. His band had just gotten a record deal and they were in the UK for a few tryout shows. I met him at their show in London. It was their last one, but they were staying in town for another week. He asked me to show him around, an offer I gladly accepted. At the end of the week he asked me to come to America with him and the next day I was boarding a plane with him.”

Alex lets out a sound of disbelief. I notice his face is contracted in a frown.

“I know, I know. Looking back I realize very well it was a stupid, reckless thing to do. But I had just graduated high school, I was foolish and free. And I had always dreamed of visiting America, so I said yes before he could finish his question. And the summer was absolutely amazing. The band was recording their album, but there was plenty of time to hang out with me, show me around their hometown. Life was perfect, until September came creeping around the corner…”

Alex doesn’t say a thing when I fall silent. I stare at my hands and see how he takes one of mine in one of his and gives it a comforting squeeze. I look up at him and he gives me an encouraging nod.

“He was surprised when I mentioned going back to England for college. And his reaction in turn surprised me. Sure, I liked him and he felt like more than a friend. There had been some stolen kisses in moments where no one else could see. But officially we were never more than friends. And yet he seemed to think that the intimacy of skin on skin was enough for me to follow him around the world, living his dream. Not one moment did he consider that I might have dreams of my own I wanted to follow. And… well, let’s just say things did not end pretty. He did not even properly say goodbye, had one of his band mates drive me to the airport. I felt horrible things had to end this way. I tried to call him, emailed him, but I never got any response.” I can’t help but let out a heavy sigh. “I should have taken that as a clue to let things rest, to let him be.”

“But you didn’t?” Alex’s tone is questioning, but I am sure he already knows my answer.

“I wish I had, Alex. I really do,” I answer anyway. “For a while things went okay. College was taking up most of my time, with long classes and new friends. I was almost able to forget everything that had happened. And then…”

Deep breath. ‘You can do this,’ I try to assure myself. I can still feel the heat of Alex’s fingers around mine.

“And suddenly they were everywhere. Radio, tv, magazines. Their album dropped and they were an instant hit. And the thing is, I can’t even blame people. Their music is amazing. The singer’s voice, it’s absolutely astonishing, breathtaking. And the combination with his lyrics! They are clever, witty, fabulous. None of my new friends knew about our joint past. And I never bothered telling anyone. I just watched in silence how he lived his dream, all the while working to pursue mine. I resented him for what he’d done and at the same time I was happy to see how far he’d come. I fell slowly, but deeply in love with the band’s music. I went to every single one of their concerts in London. They always played big venues and I made sure to stay away from the first rows. I didn’t try to get close to the band, just enjoyed the music. During summers I started going on Warped tour, putting my journalism classes into practice. Everything seems to work out, for both of us. And then he quit the band.”


	4. Chapter 4

I feel Alex’s fingers give mine a surprised squeeze. “What?” I see the surprise when I look up. “What is this, the plot line for a new soap opera drama?”

I react with a small, dark smile. “If only. But no, he really broke millions of teenage hearts and started a new band. They got out a record rather quick and did some small US tours the past year. They only crossed the waters to Europe for the first time a few weeks ago, for only a handful of shows. I bought tickets as soon as I heard the news of their London show.” I let out another heavy sigh. “I should have known better. But I was in love with his music – I still am, even after everything – so I didn’t think things through. The venue was small, barely fitting 500 people, and hiding wasn’t as easy as I was used to. He spotted me in the crowd and practically cornered me after the show, inviting me for drinks.”

“Please tell me you didn’t take the invitation.” Alex’s tone is almost begging, as if he can will me into not making any more mistakes. I’m guessing that by now he must be thinking I’m a complete idiot. Little does he know it only gets worse.

“He always seemed to have some sort of power over me,” I tell Alex, as if that is an excuse for anything that has happened. “I was already following him before I had time to properly think it through. The drug rumors can’t be true, that’s nothing like him. It’s just a few drinks. That’s what I kept telling myself.”

I have to close my eyes and let out yet another sigh before continuing. A lump is forming in my throat, making talking a lot more difficult. I carry on anyway. “But of course it wasn’t. It started as just a few drinks, being introduced to the rest of his band. And suddenly it was making out against the side of their tour van and memories of too hot, starlit American nights. Stumbling into his hotel room. Sweat, skin on skin and swallowed moans. Waking up at 3AM, naked but smiling, and hoping it wasn’t a dream…”

Suddenly I feel Alex’s hand on my cheek, his thumb wiping away a tear I didn’t even know was there. I don’t dare to look at him. The lump in my throat is getting thicker, but I can’t stop talking now.

“It turned out to be a fucking nightmare instead of a dream. I got up to go to the bathroom. I figured he was in bed as well, so I even tried my best not to make any sound. It was dark, and I should have noticed the light coming from under the door, but I guess I was in such a bliss I didn’t pay attention. Or maybe I just wasn’t fully awake, maybe I only woke up completely after opening the bathroom door. The sight I was met with sure felt like a splash of water to the face. Cocaine on the toilet seat, rolled up dollar bill in his hand. His skin looked unhealthily pale against the dark floor and I suddenly realized how skinny he had become.

The paranoia in his eyes when he looked up, it was frightening. For a moment I wondered if he even really remembered who I was, or if I was just some chick he had picked up after the show. I didn’t dare asking him, instead running to the bedroom to get dressed and get out, but I got my answer anyway. I already had one foot in the hallway when he appeared in the doorway, eyes rapidly darting over the room and continuously sniffing. He told me that yeah, I should run away, cause that was what I was best at.

And I don’t know what hurts the most, the fact that I have been stupid enough to let him get under my skin again, the fact that he is ruining his life or the fact that he still fails to take responsibility for anything he does.”

The words have been coming out like word vomit and when they finally stop my throat is burning, even though the lump is still there. Tears are cascading down my cheeks like a waterfall. My breaths come out broken and choked. I don’t dare to look up at Alex, afraid of what he must think of me now.

To my surprise Alex just pulls me into an embrace. He doesn’t say anything, just holds me close and rubs my back while I sob into his chest, drenching his shirt. He continues hugging me after my tears dry and I calm down.

“Does this idiot have a name?” he eventually asks.

“What?” My brows knit together in confusion, wondering why it matters to him.

“I was wondering if this idiot has a name,” Alex repeats his question. “I want to make sure that if I ever meet him I will A, tell him he is a stupid idiot for letting go of you and B, beat the crap out of him for hurting this amazing, intelligent, sweet, funny, beautiful girl I’m holding right now.”

The words come out careful, as if he is afraid to say the wrong things. But when I look up at him, I see this passion burning in his eyes that he usually only shows on stage. And for a moment it seems like he is about to kiss me.

And in that one, short moment I am perfectly okay with that. Completely ready to forget about the past and just start over again. But then my phone vibrates in my pocket and the moment is gone.

I break our stare and let out a small chuckle in response to his statement. “You would never do that,” I say while getting my phone from my jeans pocket and flipping it open. “I’m pretty sure your parents raised you to be a good boy. You would never beat someone up. But just in case, I’m not telling you his name. Wouldn’t want him to blame me for getting a beating.”

It surprises me how much talking about everything really helps. I’m already able to make small jokes. The fact that they come out only half as playful as I would want them to has nothing to do with my story, but everything with the reason I can’t look up from my phone and meet Alex’s eyes.

I’m afraid that if Alex looks into my eyes, he’ll be able to simply read the lie, the half-truth I just told him. I know I should tell him the truth. But how do you tell a person you got hurt this badly by a guy they would never dream of beating up, because it’s someone they know, someone they like?


	5. Chapter 5

** Alex. **

The one thing I always seem to forget when I’m on tour is how quickly time passes when you are having fun. It seems like only yesterday when Warped started, when in reality today is the tenth to last day before tour is over. It’s still hard to believe almost seven weeks have passed already.

At the same time it’s hard to believe it’s only been seven weeks. Life on the road has been incredibly busy. Doing shows and interviews, spending time with fans and growing closer as a band then we’ve ever been. I’ve met so many people, both amazing and not so much, that it sometimes feel like we’ve been on the road for years without end.

And when I look at Dylan I feel this tour had been going on longer than a life time. It sometimes is difficult to remember a time where she wasn’t around. It feels like I have been getting hugs and giving her piggy back rides my entire life. I know she isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, but ever since our conversation about him, he-who-still-is-nameless, she blossomed again. She works hard but never stops smiling. She knows so incredibly much about music that it makes me jealous and she’s a total smart ass. She made falling for her ridiculously easy.

I think I feel in love with Dylan that first day, the moment I watched her get out of that cab. And I know for sure that I keep falling deeper every waking moment. Every time she laughs, when I spot her in the wings at our shows, when I find her asleep in her bunk.

I almost kissed her the day she told me about him. And for a second I was even sure she would kiss me back. But then her phone buzzed and the moment passed. And looking back, I’m glad it did. I would never have forgiven myself if she would have thought I was taking advantage of her vulnerability at that moment.

But still, she’s never off my mind for too long. Her face is always the first one I look for during our performances. My favorite moments are late at night, when it’s just the two of us left in the living area of the bus. She’ll cuddle close, bury herself in my arms when we are watching a movie, and fall asleep halfway through. I love to watch her sleep, beautiful and peaceful. And it always amazes me how perfectly she fits in my arms, as if she is made for me to hold her.

I try not to be too obvious about my feelings, not wanting to push things after everything that happened to her in the past. But sometimes I just can’t help myself. I’ll find myself staring at her, completely oblivious to anything else.

It is exactly during one of those moments that Marshall finds me. “Dude, are you ready to go or do you just plan on staring at Dylan all day again?”

I don’t answer the question immediately, instead I just keep staring at Dylan a moment longer. She is leaning against the bus that Hey Monday and VersaEmerge share and is quietly talking in her phone. I’m too far away to hear what she is talking about, but when her face changes from nervously biting her lower lip to smiles and sparkling eyes I know that she must be getting good news.

Blake from VersaEmerge exits the bus a few seconds later and smiles when he notices her. He says something I can’t hear. Dylan doesn’t say anything in response, but smiles and makes a kissy face at him. It causes me to wonder how it would be to kiss her and if her lips would feel as perfect against mine as her body does in my arms.

It is only when Marshall nudges me in the ribs and repeats his question that I break my train of thought and avert my gaze. “I’ll be right there,” I assure him. “Just need to go talk to Dylan real quick.”

Marshall smirks, but refrains from commenting, instead informing me that he’ll be waiting in the cab with Johnson. He’s only a few feet away when he can’t help himself anymore and mutters something about introducing Dylan to my parents.

I feel my face heat up quickly, but decide to not respond. I just walk away into the opposite direction, praying for my blush to die down soon.

Dylan is just putting away her phone when I stop next to her. “Hey pretty boy, what are you up to today?” she asks me. Her eyes are still sparkling from the excitement from her phone call. Her perky attitude makes me wonder about the conversation, but I don’t ask any questions. She’ll tell me if she wants to.

Instead I respond to her question, telling her, “Not much. The guys and I are leaving in a few minutes. I wanted to check if you really don’t want to come along.”

When I asked her the same question earlier she had politely declined my invite. The smile she shoots me now lets me know she hasn’t changed her mind since. “I’m just going to sit this one out,” she confirms. “I’ll probably spend some time with Jac. I haven’t been spending as much time with her as usual. All thanks to you!” Her tone is light and teasing, but I can’t help but feel the tips of my ears burn. At the same time I feel a little smug because I am the reason she has been neglecting Jac.

I know Dylan’s mind is made up, but I can’t help but push her a little bit. “Are you sure?” I insist. “I’m sure Jac will survive a couple more hours without you. And as a Vegas boy I can show you all the really cool places, even off The Strip. Plus, today is our last day off on this tour!”

Dylan keeps smiling at me, clearly amused by my persistence. But the look in her eyes tells me something is off. The sparkle in her eyes is gone. I can practically feel her body tense up.

“Yes, I am sure,” she assures me. All of sudden her amused tone sounds horribly fake. “And honestly, I don’t know if you would be able to show me that much new. I know Vegas pretty well, if I do say so myself. Even off The Strip.”

Her words confuse me, but I don’t say anything about it. By now I know Dylan well enough to know that when she wants you to understand her you will. And when you don’t understand the meaning of her words you probably aren’t meant to.

So I simply nod and say, “Okay, if you say so.”

Dylan doesn’t say anything, but smiles, a genuine smile this time. We hug goodbye, exchange seeyoulaters and then I’m on my way to the cab that is waiting for me.

The cab ride is spend mostly in silence. When you spend as much time together as I do with Marshall and Johnson there comes a time when words are overrated. Most things have been said before and you fall into a comfortable silence.

I usually don’t mind the silence, but today it feels unnerving. As I watch the familiar buildings pass through the window I can’t help but let my thoughts drift back to my recent conversation with Dylan. No matter how hard I try, I can’t make sense of it. How would a girl from England know all the interesting places in Vegas? Tourists usually don’t even bother to leave the bright lights of The Strip.

My though process gets interrupted when Johnson nudges me lightly in the shoulder. “Dude, can you believe,” he asks me at the moment we pass The Alley, “that this place got closed? It’s been only what, five years, since Brendon shared his mic with you in there and now the place is shut down and abandoned!”

Since my attention is still partly going to Dylan, my answer is rather dark. “A lot can happen in five years,” I tell Johnson.

But the memory of that concert pushes my thought about Dylan to the back of my mind and I manage a smile. That night was good night. In a way it was the first step to getting a record deal, since it was the first time we met the guys from Panic at the Disco. Of course at the time I had no idea Spencer would be the one giving our demo to Pete Wentz. At the time they were all just good, genuine guys. I remember talking to Ryan for a while afterwards and thinking he was some sort of musical genius. A 21th century Chopin. It really is kind of a shame he decided to quit the band and …

Before I can complete my thought something suddenly clicks. I connect Dylan’s knowledge of Vegas to him. To getting signed in 05, UK try out shows. Witty lyrics and a guitar player quitting his band. And then realization hits me full force. The real reason Dylan won’t tell me his name. She got hurt by Ryan fucking Ross.

As that conclusion forms in my head I realize something else. She told me I wouldn’t hit him. And before this tour she had probably been right, because I consider Ryan a good guy, a friend. But now, after what Dylan told me, after getting to know her and falling in love, I’m suddenly not so sure anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

** Dylan. **

You know how the things you try to postpone the longest always seem to arrive the quickest? That’s exactly how I feel about the ending of Warped tour. I knew this final day, this final evening would come, but now that it has arrived it feels way too soon. I have been so busy with interviewing bands, watching shows and hanging out with friends, both old and new, that it feels like I have skipped a few days or weeks. The summer has been absolutely amazing, but the thought that I maybe should have taken more time to appreciate it keeps nagging at the back of my mind.

“And last but not least, I would like to direct a few words of thanks to Dylan.”

When I hear Kevin say my name I am shaken out of my thoughts and brought back to reality. The big boss is standing on a wooden picnic table and is giving his annual end-of-tour speech. He smiles in my direction. I raise my paper cup in his direction to signal he has my attention and feel a smile creep onto my own face as I realize there’s still an evening to enjoy to the fullest.

Kevin talks about the past five summers, how I’ve grown from catering help to interviewer and from employee to friend and confidante. I laugh along with the rest of his audience when he reminisces about my less graceful, more foolish moments. He calls me onto his makeshift stage and hands me a DVD with pictures, video footage and thank you messages from bands and my colleagues, both past and present. And then everybody is raising his or her cup in a toast to me.

After that Kevin quickly rounds up his speech while I get of the picnic table and try to make my way through the crow. It’s a task easier said than done, since I am continuously stopped by people. Everybody seems to want to thank me. Hugs, I’llmissyous. Thanks for the memories. One last picture together, for old time’s sake.

When I finally get a moment to catch my breath I don’t have to think very long about my next move. The time has come for my annual end of tour ritual.

It’s interesting how quickly sound dies down when you distance yourself from it. I can still see the people surrounding the bonfire and make out the smiles on their faces. But up here, on the roof of our bus, the laughter and the conversations almost die down. They get turned into background noise. I first realized this during the last evening of my first Warped tour, when I climbed up for the first time. I don’t even remember why I did it. It might have been to make sure I took everything in and realized that I was part of something amazing. Or maybe I wanted to get a taste of being alone, to get used to the feeling again. Either way, it became an annual ritual, climbing on the bus roof and staring down at everyone.

This year I am not alone very long. “Can I please have a picture with you? As a memory of the great times we had together.” The voice is coming from behind me and it is laced heavily with mockery.

I try to feel annoyed at getting disturbed during this moment of peace, but I can’t help but smile. “Don’t you think you have enough pictures of us together already, Alexander?” I shoot back without looking away from the scene beneath me.

Alex lets out a chuckle. I hear him inching closer and the next moment he is sitting beside me. When I cast a quick glance in his direction I can see a smile spread on his lips while he looks at the people down. For a while neither of us says a word. We just watch friends and acquaintances spend one last evening together.

It is Alex who eventually breaks the silence. “Nice hiding spot you have here,” he tells me. “If I hadn’t seen you leave towards the buses and I hadn’t notice the open roof window I would have never found you. It’s the perfect place to spy on people without being seen from below.”

“Well maybe I didn’t want to be found,” I try to challenge him, but I know my tone of voice will keep him from being offended. I’m not making any effort to really upset him.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone,” he promises me with a chuckle. Then his voice suddenly turns serious. “So is that really what this is? Your hiding spot?”

I grant him a smile but don’t avert my gaze from the crowd at our feet. For a moment I am not sure what to tell him. But as I watch the people beneath us I suddenly remember why I came here that very first year.

“It’s not really a hiding spot, more a place to think and look at the bigger picture,” I try to explain. “It’s kind of like looking at a city from a plane, you know? It all looks so neat and tidy when you’re way up high. But you know the streets are lined with a fine mess. You never get along with everybody and there’s always at least one band to cause trouble. There is never going to be a Warped tour without problems. So I get up here every year on the last evening and I ask myself if I want to go down again and walk those streets. If all problems were worth it in the end.”

“And are they?”

“Yes, they are. Each and every year.” I pause to watch Marshall and Sierra beat Blake and Jac in a piggy back race before they all collapse in a big pile of limbs and laughter. “Especially this summer has been amazing.”

From the corner of my eye I can see Alex nod in agreement. “Yeah, definitely.”

Neither of us elaborates on the subject and we continue to sit in comfortable silence. We watch our friends being silly and having fun. I am so engrossed in watching the members of The Summer Set take on VersaEmerge in another piggy back race that it takes me a while to realize how nervous Alex suddenly has become.

When I eventually cast a glance in his direction I see his index fingers quickly and rhythmically tap on his knee. I frown when I see he is biting his lip. “Alex,” I start out.

Alex quickly raises a hand to silence me. I watch him close his eyes and take a deep breath. And another one.

“This tour has been amazing indeed,” he says with his eyes still closed. The statement is followed by another deep intake of breath, after which he finally opens his eyes to look at me. “But there is still one more thing I need to do.”

As Alex continues to stare at me I suddenly realize how close together we are sitting. I become well aware of the way our thighs are pressed together. And I realize he is not the only nervous one anymore. I feel my own stomach clutch together, even though I am not sure why. It is only when I feel Alex lean in closer that I understand.

The moment our lips touch my nerves are gone. In that moment it feels that meeting Ryan, five years on Warped tour, this amazing summer, that everything that happened to me in the past has led me to this point.

But the moment passes as soon as my mind catches up to me. My body freezes the second it completely registers what is happening. And then I am pushing Alex away and crawl backwards to get away from him.


	7. Chapter 7

** Alex. **

For a moment all seems right in the world, as cliché as that may sound. Unfortunately for me, the moment ends too soon. Before I can deepen the kiss, even before my mind can register this is really happening, I feel Dylan’s body tense. I feel slightly shocked and definitely hurt when she pushes me away and I see her scramble backwards as far as she is able to without tumbling off the bus.

I don’t understand why she is reacting this way. Not until I look at her face and realize she is crying. And even in the dark of the night, with only the light of the bonfire below, I can see the confusion, the insecurity and the angst that are clearly written in her eyes. ‘Ryan,’ is the one thing that flashes through my mind. She is scared to get hurt again. I can’t blame her for the ways she is acting. I would probably have a similar reaction, should it been me in her spot.

Most of all I want to pull her close and comfort her. Hold her in my arms until she stops crying. But I know she won’t let me. So instead I just sit with her and listen to her sobs while trying to find the right way to react.

I end up trying to comfort her in the one way I really know. I do the one thing in the world that always makes me feel better when I’m upset. I sing.

After inching closer as quietly as I can I grab her hands and hold them in mine. A sigh of relief escapes me when she doesn’t pull away.

“I can see it in your eyes you’re scared… I can hear it in your voice you care. Let me run my fingers through your hair. I’ll keep you company at night. And baby I’m here to make things right… If you have a little faith in me.” I sing to her. I have never put so much heart and soul into this song as tonight.

Dylan’s sobs have stopped by the time I finish the song, but she is still not looking at me. Her eyes are focused on the fire burning down below. However, I do notice she is playing with my fingers. The movements her hands make seem absentminded, but, optimistic as I always try to be, they are enough to give me the courage to speak to her again.

“Dylan, just have a little faith in me,” I whisper to her. I am unsure how my next sentence will go over, but I say it anyway. I need to make sure she knows. “I am not Ryan Ross, Dylan.”

The last syllable has barely left my mouth before Dylan snaps her head to look at me. At the same time her fingers freeze on top of my hands. She opens her mouth. And closes it again. I watch in silence as the movement gets repeated a few times, making Dylan look like a fish on land.

“You know?” she eventually whispers. The surprise is evident in her voice. I simply nod in response. “But… How?” she questions me.

Despite the situation I can’t help but let out a small chuckle. “Honestly, I don’t think you give me enough credit, Dylan,” I tell her. “I mean, I didn’t know when you told me what happened. But then you mentioned you know Vegas pretty well and Johnson and me happened to be talking about Panic on our way to our parents. And that’s when things suddenly clicked together and I realized I should have known all along.”

I watch Dylan nod at my explanation and I can see a tiny smile creep onto her lips, although it’s hard to distinguish in the dark. “I should have known you would figure it out eventually.”

“Yes, you should have.” I nod in agreement. Then I use a hand to lift her chin, forcing her eyes, which have slipped back to our still intertwined hands, back to mine. I want to make sure I have her complete attention during my next statement.

“And you also should have known that I would never treat you like Ryan did. You spiked my interest the moment you stepped out of that cab all those weeks ago. And I like you more and more every day since. You are funny, intelligent, creative, beautiful. And very kind. I look up to Ryan Ross because I find him an musical genius, not so much because of his social skills. He is an idiot for letting go of such an amazing girl so easily.”

I know I am rambling, but I need to get my feelings out in the open now. I can’t hide them from Dylan any longer. So I only stop a split second to catch my breath before continuing, “I know a relationship is not going to be easy with you in the UK and me here in The States, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to give us a chance. I didn’t just grow fond of you over the past couple of weeks. I fell in love with you, Dylan. Instead of letting all those good times we shared become memories of a time long ago, I want to create more of those moments. I want to be the one to make you laugh, the one you cuddle with on the couch. And when the visions around you bring tears to your eyes and all that surrounds you are secrets and lies I’ll be your strength. I’ll give you hope, keeping your faith when it’s gone…”

“The one you should call was standing here all along,” Dylan suddenly interrupts me. At first I think she is offended, but then I realize she is grinning at me. For the first time since I followed her onto the bus she is really laughing. “N’Sync, seriously Alex?”

I hear myself let out a laugh, but I am not sure whether it’s out of relief or disbelief. “I pour out my heart to you and all you hear is the fact that the last few sentences are quoting N’Sync?”

Much to my surprise, Dylan laughs again. The sound makes my heart swell, but at the same time I frown because I don’t understand why she is suddenly laughing again.

“I also heard that you are under the impression that I am going back to the UK soon,” she says, smile firmly in place. “But I’m not. Do you remember I had a phone call right before you asked me to explore Vegas with you?” I nod. “That was Rolling Stone Magazine. Apparently they saw and read my interviews and blogs from this tour and they offered me a job! I am moving to New York next month!”

Suddenly the rest of our conversation is pushed to the background and I am just happy for Dylan. I quickly inch forward to get as close as possible and pull her in a tight hug, exclaiming, “That’s awesome news, Dylan! Congratulations!”

Of course, the moment I put my arms around Dylan and I feel her warm skin against my own, all my feelings rush back to the surface. I hold her a while longer, before cautiously asking, “And where does that leave us?”

Dylan doesn’t immediately answer. When she pulls away to look at me I expect to see doubt in her eyes, maybe still a trace of angst. Instead she is smiling at me and looking almost confident.

“What you just said to me, I needed to hear that. After everything that happened with Ryan I have gotten so scared to trust a boy with my heart. And you especially, being an amazing up and coming musician from Las Vegas, reminded me of him and of all the ways he hurt me. I planned to keep you at a distance when I saw you watching me arrive that first evening, but you got under my skin faster than I imagined possible. But I wasn’t sure my feelings were returned and I didn’t want to be the next heartbroken girl arriving in New York City. So…”

I can’t help myself, but have to interrupt her. “Not sure if your feelings are returned?” I can barely hear myself over my own heartbeat suddenly pounding in my ears.

Dylan’s smile just grows bigger. “Yes, not sure if my feelings are returned. So this means that yes, I want to give us a chance. Now stop interrupting me and just kiss me again!”

That of course she doesn’t have to tell me twice. With a huge smile and my heart still thumping in my ears I close the distance between our lips.

As if on cue, fireworks start going off. Only they are not in my head, but a few yards away, announcing midnight and the official ending of this year’s Warped. Both Dylan and me jump at the sudden sound of explosions filling the air. It causes us to laugh out loud.

But soon enough we are both leaning in again, this time not being bothered by the explosions and cheers around us. The kiss is sensual and passionate. A long lazy kiss, because we have all the time in the world.

That night Dylan falls asleep in my arms again. Only this time we are not watching a movie, but instead cuddling in my bunk. And while I watch her, slowly drifting to sleep myself, I know we’ll grow old together. I know we can handle everything the universe decides to throw our way. If you have a little faith in us.


End file.
